The Encompassment of Biblical Interpretation

I've been really depressed lately. It feels as though my life is going nowhere. I've kind of run out of things to do in this small town I live in. I just started volunteering at the school again, but it's not the same as before, it doesn't feel like I actually did anything. I miss having a life. I'm really lonely. I found myself falling into a hole of pain when I was reading on a message board about the reason why hell has to exist and why justice must punish sin. That is so tiring. People who talk like that don't seem to know what justice or love is. I was trying to explain it to them-silly me- and I was getting more and more depressed as the conversation went on. It didn't help either that I was reading the Bible looking for the answers for them and I realised they were never going to see things the way I do, even with the Bible verses. Whatever one wants to believe, it's there in the Bible. You want to believe in hell-it's there. You want to believe that Christ saves everyone and that hell is a metaphor-it's there. You want to believe that God hates sin and sinners and will punish both-it's there. You want to believe that God uses sin for His glory and loves sinners wholeheartedly, it's there. You want to believe that justice punishes sinful people-it's there. You want to believe that justice heals the wounds of all, disciplines and corrects-it's there. You want to believe in evil spirits and a satan-it's there. You want to believe that satan and evil spirits don't exist but are symbols-it's there. You want to believe that women are to be in submission to men-it's there. You want to believe that men and women are equal in God's eyes-it's there.
I'm tired of it all. I want to give up on Christianity! I love Christ, but Christianity is destroying my spirit. I think from now on I'll just refer to myself as a pantheist. I don't need to keep the label of Christian. It just confuses people anyway. They think it means that I believe in hell and sin and evil and the Bible, when it means none of that. When I say I am a Christian, I mean I am a disciple of Christ. I am a follower of the Way. I talk to and have communion with the Person of Divine Love, Christ. I am not a believer in the religion of Christianity.