Being Me, and Thoughts

Woops, I missed March. Oh, well. I have been thinking about stuff. For one, I have this plan to fill a folder with stuff about me-my poems, my drawings, my paintings, my thoughts, my interests, my religion-everything about me- and share this folder with everyone I meet. I don't want people to make assumptions about who I am. I want them to know me. And if they reject me, so what! There are billions of other people in the world. I am me, I am unique and I am different than any other person in the world. If I don't share me, if I'm not me-who will be? The light of me will be lost. No more! I will break through the fear and live as me, not the masks I usually wear.
Ah, yes. I also did some thinking about thoughts. That's an interesting past time. :) I thought about the thoughts I have about rejection and my expecting rejection from everyone. How, according to some people, these thoughts create the reality of my being rejected. Recently, this was proved false. I shared my journey and some of my thoughts expecting to be debated with, and instead I found that people appreciated my honesty and didn't reject me. I found someone who is also a person on the path of Love. I wouldn't have found them if I hadn't posted my testimony on how I deconverted from Christianity, and what I believe in. So, things do not happen based upon our thoughts about them. Things happen as they will, and sometimes our thoughts align with what happens. We are not all powerful. For a person with OCD, this is great news! My thoughts do not create reality! Woo! The Universe is alright again!
I was happy about this realization, but my OCD still says "No, your thoughts do have power. And because of them, you are guilty of many things." The ol' conditioning. Well, I am no longer a part of whatever conditioned me to believe that my thoughts are evil, so why am I listening to OCD?
Maybe I wouldn't listen to it if people didn't agree with it. They wouldn't believe such things if they knew the hell I live in because of that belief. If OCD is true, if they are right, life isn't worth living. But, then again, people who say these things don't have OCD. They don't understand the confusion, the thoughts, the pain. I do, and I refuse accept that belief!
From the perspective of the universe-or multi-verse, or whatever-none of it matters. Our thoughts aren't evil. They are little movings of little energy in a massive, giant, huge, gigantic, humungous, infinity!! How can our measley thoughts have any affect on It? My thoughts only affect me. And I am a speck in this mighty existence. I am a dot of a dot. I am invisible in the immensity. All evil, all pain, all death, all war, it all melts away the further out you go. In that Peace, I am free.

-Cassie