Talking To A Psychologist

I feel a deep pain in me. Recently, I've been seeing a psychologist. This was a step I decided to take because I want out of my misery. I want self esteem, and I felt that a psychologist could help me apply techniques for gaining self-esteem. I was mistaken, of course, because a psychologist cannot do something for me- she cannot make me apply techniques, and so the way I live stays the same. If I was not able to apply techniques before, I will not be able to afterward. Especially because I do not feel like a person in front of my psychologist. I feel strange, out of place... my introverted self shrieks and runs to hide. I do not want to share myself with a stranger. Why am I? I now feel compelled to out of guilt. How can I stop seeing her now? We haven't even gotten started. She doesn't know me, and I don't trust her. There's a block, and I doubt I'll move past it. She talked about taking baby steps to get forward and yet says that I will be better in 6 months. 6 months?!!! What?! I have been working on my mental difficulties for ten years, and she thinks that six months is going to undo whatever is holding me back from life? Does she think I didn't know what I was doing? I know many ways of finding peace when I am anxious. They don't always work, neither am I always able to apply them. If I were to be healed in 6 months, that would take giant steps, not baby steps. I think I would explode before I got there. Everything feels wrong. I am asked whether I want to do this or that-it is almost as though my psychologist is insecure.
I have a plan to take two months off from my current life, the psychologist, my work experience, phonecalls, rides, just about everything that bothers me. I need to relax. I need a break. That life feels out of whack. It is not what I want. When I tell people about this, some say that it will be a huge mistake, that I will lose all of my progress. Progress? What progress? I'm slipping into despair here, people! My strength is ebbing. My hope is failing. I just want to rest!
Yet, I did find at least one person to understand my need. I've been playing in the danger zone for my anxiety and stress and depression. I have to step back and re-evaluate where I am going and whether this pressure serves me in the long run. I don't like to think about long runs. :)
I am not sure this sabbatical (that's what I'm calling it) will be useful if I have to stay here with my family. There is not rest here, either. But, I have no place else to go, so I'll have to make the best of it.