No thanks, Mr. Judgment

If I ever reach
a white throne of judgment
and am found in the book of life:
I will be amazed.

For there, before the throne,
I'll be pleading for the lost,
for those God forsooke,
and left to their doom.

I will suffer eternal torment,
if any are allowed to be thrown
into a lake of fiery fires,
with no Helper, no Friend.

I will stand and shout
"Who is this God of love
who sends people away from
His tender mercies?"

"Has He forgotten His own Son
who died to prevent
such a horrible, unneeded,
and dastardly event?

What is love that it refuses
to see beyond the flesh of a man,
into the severely wounded heart,
and offer healing?

What is love that it can't be:
questioned yet never lost,
unseen, but still present,
forgiving even unrepentedness?

I do not wish to receive life
if life is not for all.
I do not want to be loved,
if love is not Love.

Could I find that things
are not as they seem?
That God does Love all
and saves all?

Could I find not only my name,
but the name of every being,
no literal lake of fire,
but where all illusions are burnt away?

Could the veil be lifted?
Hearts unhardened?
Eyes unblinded?
Ears undeafened?

Could I see a True Love?
He who accepts all,
no matter if they accept Him?
He like Christ?

If I could not, then,
I forsake my name.
I give my name to the lost,
for their renewal and redemption.

I give up my adoption rights,
for I do not wish to be
a child of the Judger,
Doomer, Burner, Forsaker!

I give up!
If God is not God,
and Hope not Hope,
and love not Love!

Existence is futile.