Impassioned Against Injustice

On Sunday I ran away from church before it was over because I felt pressured into doing something that wasn't me. I was enraged that the Pastor said not to take communion if we didn't have Christ as our Lord. I never take communion, because it doesn't bring me closer to God. After he said that though, I thought I'd have to take it or everyone would think Christ wasn't my Lord. The Pastor said no one would judge anyone, but he's not everyone, and I know better than that. I didn't want to be judged, so I left. Of course, in leaving, I've probably defined myself as something I'm not, too.

Perhaps I was so mad on Sunday because unconsciously, it struck my sense of justice as completely injust. There is a Holy Communion, in which you reach into the Heart of God, and Commune with Him. But, the Pastor said "No, you cannot commune with God unless you are right with Him." How in the world do you worship or love a being you are not permitted to commune with? What a bunch of s**t. Love has been forsaken for something so not like love that anyone with compassion could see right through it. Who has the right to tell another that they cannot commune with Christ because Christ wouldn't be pleased if some outsider decided they wanted to be near Him? How unchrist-like. Man, I wanted to swear at that pastor, because he was so intolerant, so not in the mind of love. Love would have said "Come, all you who are weary, all who thirst and hunger-come ALL!" Not "Come you who thirst-but only you guys. Come you who hunger, sorry, I didn't mean you. Come you who are weary, wait, I won't take your burden."
How can Holy Communion even mean anything if it is not for everyone? Ah, is it only the holy who can commune with the Holy? Ptth! That's stupid. How is anyone holy? Through a life of communion with the Holy. How can one who is not Christ's ever become Christ's if they can't commune with Him? They won't. They will commune with Him elsewhere since you deny them bread and wine. You deny them they body and blood of Christ. Perhaps that is best, for they can find Him elsewhere and know that you do not have a monopoly on Holy Communion. It is about communing with the Divine, it has no standard. You cannot place a law upon communion. You cannot say, only you, and you may commune, the rest of you, sorry, you're just not loved, wanted, or correct. You must wait outside the gates of heaven. God doesn't want you, and neither do we. B****rds! And to think I thought I over-reacted! I didn't! It's total injustice, and God would be feeling a little like me, too! Not angry like me, but He would have a movement in His bowels-passion for the truth, which is not "I only want a few to come before me." Who's rules for Holy Communion are those rules that keep people out? Not God's!!!